The Reality Show

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Last Week: Changing things in my life and hoping to inspire,support and guide you in your changes. I’m starting with a new commitment to mental and physical wellness.

Last Week: Making changes in my life, starting with a new commitment to mental and physical wellness.

Day one and day Two: I am a super hero.  You can practically see my cape fluttering in the wind.  I feel like I have the answer to everything and I love it.  Making the commitment to me to make a change in my life that really matters to me in a way that excites me seems to be a powerful tincture.  I’m using hot yoga to reshape my mind and my body, and I want to go every day now.  It is like teenage infatuation.

Day Three:  I think if this change works so well then I am keen to build on it and I start to have fantastical notions about many things.  I take the Real Age Test online, and with the hot yoga in the mix I’m coming in at 5.5 years younger than my real age!  I read the January issue of Oprah magazine and get food tips and begin to imagine a complete overhaul of my cupboards.   I think about going back to skiing, and trying new things like tap dancing, belly dancing and rock climbing.  I am light headed with the incredible strength of purpose I discover in making a decision and acting on it. The world is my oyster.

Day Four: The day of the reality check. My committee (hey, you have one too) from the Department of Sensible Decisions got wind of all these big plans I had and called me on out on the carpet.

“First of all, how will you pay for this?” they barked.  “And second of all, do we have to remind you of how many times before you thought you would do this sort of thing and you FAILED?”

This was ‘put your money where your mouth is’ day in terms of how much of a commitment monetarily I was willing to make for the yoga classes.  At my yoga studio (Bikram Hot Yoga Langford) they were celebrating their fifth anniversary and were therefore promoting one and two year memberships at half price to celebrate. At my Day 4, I am 24 hours away from the last chance to get in on this deal.  I committed last week to not having this same body one year from the 14th of December, and I knew that Bikram Yoga was my choice.  Or, at least, I thought I knew.  But as the Sensible Decisions committee pointed out, according to the files from “Oh, Not That Again” I have felt this way several times in the past and had NEVER followed through.

“Need you be reminded” they said “of the gym membership, of the Kung Fu membership or of the last time that you did Hot Yoga?  What about other ideas from a few years back like studying cello?  Taking a writing class?  Going to meditational classes?  You never follow through.”

So as international leaders struggled for an accord in Copenhagen, I was having my own summit and it was going just as well.

“And” the committee then marched on “you seem to think you could do all these other activities, which all cost money, need time, and you don’t have enough of either of these to even THINK of taking these other passions on.  You need to stop this ridiculous talk now or before you know it you’ll be responsible for ALL this and you will be so disappointed when you fail again.”

So it was, on Day Four I discovered that my new found motivation was being increasingly stained by my old fashioned fear of making mistakes and failing.

My committee, like yours, uses the logic of “Not enough” You don’t have enough time, money, commitment.  Then it backs it up with past disappointments that I need to be protected from repeating “Remember the last time you did this?  You weren’t committed enough to follow through.”  And a good idea can’t even get started after that meeting.

What I learned this week:

Don’t bite off more than you can chew

When making a change in your life it can be tempting to change a lot of things, but sometimes that just lets our monkey mind race to the future and suddenly I’m doing 20 things.  I overload myself and I end up killing the good idea that started it all.  So, don’t bite off more than you can chew.  You don’t shove the whole burger in your mouth at once, now matter how delicious it smells, you know you’ll choke yourself.  Eat it one bite at a time.  For me it is like the Bikram Yoga practice that I did four times last week (take that Sensible Decision Committee!), you do one pose at a time.  Just this one thing now, then rest, then does this one thing now.

That I can do.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater

What a classic and dramatic saying.  There is this great thing (the baby, if you weren’t sure) and it is in dirty water.  Throw away the water, not the baby.  Remember, when the committee piles up the past failure that is just muddy water to throw away.  It doesn’t mean this new idea isn’t going to be successful.

The Committee wants to protect me, but I’m telling them that I’ve learned from the past.  I have done my homework this time.  I have checked out my choice and it lines up with what I value right now.  I have made sure I have accountability in place.  I have set myself up for success with scheduling, a reward and buddy system.  This isn’t the same as last time and I won’t be shamed into thinking it is.

Ask yourself this:

What does my Sensible Decision Committee shut down in my life before I can even get it started?

What evidence do they always trot out?

What do I know to be true?

Karma Coaching:  If you would like some help with your Committee, be the first person who reads this blog to email me at rebecca@TheResonantLife.com  and receive a complimentary 30 minute coaching on this issue and get your changes on the road.

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