That’s so random has been one of my daughters favorite catch phrases in the past year. She says it mostly about stuff that isn’t that random.
I feel uncomfortable with a random world. And yet life is random and chaotic. If there is order, I can only seem to see it in the rear view mirror.
Recently someone we know had a loved one get suddenly very ill unexpectedly, and just this week I was with someone who got a call that a friend of their child’s had a close friend killed by a hit and run. The shock of the random. We can’t prepare, we can’t catch our breath. We can’t assemble a means of self defense, a cocoon to protect ourselves. I was there when the call came about the death and I felt terrified to comfort because the pain was so fresh and so real. I felt terrified not to be of comfort because I knew I could be a balm. I could ease this just by a hand on a shoulder, a look of compassion. Just being present was all that was needed, but it also felt like almost more than I could bear.
Life catches us with our soft underbelly exposed and delivers quite a punch.
I am finding at these times, that rather than search for meaning, or order or some way to explain these awful things, there is comfort for me if I lean into the random universe. I find comfort in the knowledge that life is random, unpredictable and stuff will happen today and stuff will happen tomorrow. I have no control over who is on the other end of that phone line, or who shows up in the driveway.
Being more open to possibilities shrinks the gap between what I want to have happen and what is. I also have in my power how I will face what comes. I can come to my life, day after day, with an open heart knowing that while life is random, I am not. I can be compassionate, friendly and even saddened by life, and not destroyed. I can hold what life is dishing up. And if I am brave enough to just show up for my life, I am rewarded with all of it’s flavours, sweet, and savory, sour, salty.
So, while I am uncomfortable with the random nature of existence, I prefer to meet it with all of my being. If I hide from what I don’t like in life, I end up also denying myself the richness of the experience of what it is to be fully human.
Life truly is a feast for the senses, and I hold the intention to show up at the table every day.